Post Wedding Reception

My son is getting married and having a reception in a different state. We also want to hold a reception for him in the city where he was raised. Can you please tell me what is proper? Do we plan it much like the first reception with a wedding cake, photographer, flowers, etc.? How involved should the bride be in the planning - or do we just go ahead and do it since she is planning the first one?

Our Thoughts

Having a second or post wedding reception is a very common occurrence. Typically what we have seen and planned for couples is that the second reception is not an exact copy of their first reception.

Our suggestion would be to keep it somewhat simple and fun. It should still be a party complete with food (cocktail receptions work well in this situation), bar and even a cake, and a photographer is not a bad idea if you want to make sure you capture the event.

Planning the second reception for your son and his soon to be wife is a very nice gesture if that is what you want to do. It really depends on your relationship with her and if she feels the need to have a part in planning it.

If she is ok with it and you want to plan it, we say go for it. Wedding planning is stressful, so try to make the second reception as stress free as possible for everyone involved.

To your wedding!
Danielle & Stephen

Post Wedding Reception Gifts

by S Zatarain
(Portland, Ct USA)

We will be having a destination wedding with immediate family and want to have a post wedding reception with the rest of our extended family and friends.

Should we expect them to bring wedding gifts?



Our Thoughts

Dear S Zatarain,

Great question! Of course you can always suggest to your guests that their wedding gift to you and your new husband is their presence, if you are at all uncomfortable with people bringing formal wedding gifts.

But, this reception, post or not, is essentially your state side wedding reception, so your guests will most likely bring a wedding gift.

If you have a gift preference (for example, cash or gift cards), then this is something you can list on your wedding website and verbally tell your extended family and friends. Always avoid listing your gift preferences on your wedding invitations.

Regards,
Danielle

Post Weddinng Brunch Invitations

We are planning on having a post wedding brunch, and I am not sure how invitations are sent. Are they sent with the wedding invite or separately?



Our Thoughts

Ordinarily, the post wedding brunch invitation is sent out separately, especially if you are only inviting certain guests and not your entire wedding guest list.

You can choose to send them with your main wedding invitations, but this is not what I would recommend. It is easier for guests to keep track of it if sent separately, and you may end up paying more in postage with such a bulky envelope.

Another suggestion would be to have your brunch invitations discretely handed out prior to or at your wedding rehearsal. Some of my clients choose to have the invitations handed out to guests as they check into their hotel prior to their wedding event.

One last suggestion is to post the information up on a personalized wedding website if in fact all of your guests are invited. Or, if only certain guests will be invited to brunch, email them as a heads up to save-the-date for the morning following your event, followed up by the more formal brunch invitations later.

Regards,
Danielle

Post Wedding Brunch

by Nancy
(Buffalo, New York)

Who would traditionally host a brunch the morning after the wedding?

Our Thoughts

The post wedding brunch can be a nice idea for many reasons, especially if there are a lot of out of town guests that traveled to attend the wedding. Traditionally there really isn’t a rule about who hosts the brunch.

Often it is one set of parents or a relative, but it can be a friend of the family or just about anyone that would like to host the gathering. When picking a location, make it convenient for most of the guests that you are expecting to show up.

Also make the time realistic. If the wedding doesn’t end until midnight, having a post wedding brunch at 9:00am most likely won’t attract a very large crowd.

To Your Wedding!
Danielle & Stephen

Post Wedding Reception Dress

My daughter is having a backyard post wedding reception for relatives that weren't invited to a private intimate wedding held six months ago. She would like to wear her formal dress for only part of the time, for relatives to see.

She was thinking of perhaps wearing a nice sun dress then sneak away and slip into her formal gown for the first dance. How would you suggest incorporating a formal time as this into a backyard reception?

She was thinking of having the reception casual, but isn't quite sure how this will tie into her wearing her formal dress at some point. Should she up the dress code? Help! Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

Our Thoughts

The greatest thing about this question is the simple fact that your daughter is the bride. Since it is her big day, she can wear whatever she chooses, whenever she chooses to.

You can certainly go with the timing above as you have suggested, but here is another idea to think about.

Why not have the bride start out in her formal wedding gown and then change into the less formal gown or sundress after the first dance is completed? It is such a pomp and circumstance to actually get into the gown with all its accessories, which can eat up a lot of time away from the wedding guests and party.

If your daughter begins the evening in her wedding gown it helps establish to everyone that they are there to truly celebrate a wedding. Switching into a more informal gown later in the evening will go much quicker, allowing more time to really enjoy the party for the rest of the night.

I have actually had many clients at a traditional wedding event switch into a less formal gown after their first dance so they can just simply be free of the big gown. It is fairly common these and works out well for the bride.

Regards,
Danielle