Including Sisters in the Wedding Party

by Stacey
(Ontario)

Hi there,

I am recently engaged, and am in the process of choosing the wedding party. We still have a year until the big day so we realize we have some time to decide, but at the same time I would like to give everyone ample time to prepare financially.

I won't be asking my bridesmaid's to purchase much (perhaps just the dress, if that) and will cover costs of hair and make up etc. However with one preparing to buy a house, the other preparing for a baby I think it is only fair to give them time to get organized.

Having been in a wedding before, and having the bride cover almost all the costs, it made it a lot more fun and less stressful, which is what we are going for!

I have already asked my MOH (my sister) and my 2 best friends of 20+ years to be in it. My fiancé has 3 on his side which are great/close friends.

Problem is my groom has 2 sisters. As much as I would like to include them in the wedding (they are very excited, eager to help and really amazing girls!) it is causing a bit of a problem with #'s.

I would have 5 on my side and only 3 on his. It is not that I don't want them in the wedding, but my fiancé and I would really like to keep the wedding small and simple (including the wedding party).

We are thinking of asking them to do readings, sit with us at the head table and include them in everything including hair/make up, pictures and make a point of having them stand out in the crowd.

An alternative idea has been suggested to have one stand on my side, and the other on his side. The sister on the groom’s side dress in black with accent colours matching the bridesmaid dresses. Different, but seemingly more popular these days. Pros/cons?

Does anyone here have opinions on not including the Grooms sisters in the wedding party? Ideally it would be nice, but with trying to keep things small, simple and matched it is easier to not have them in the wedding party itself. I am closer with one than the other (only due to distance) and I know they would be excited to be involved, however it is creating a bit of a problem with trying to keep things simple.

Thoughts, ideas, solutions, help?!?!?

I realize they will be my family, and don't want to upset them, but would hope they would understand my/our decisions. I will give 100% to keeping them involved and a part of the day as they are special to me and the last thing I want is to have 2 upset sister in laws!! I have no problem having them involved, just trying to do it in a manner that makes the most sense!

Help! Thank you!!!

Our Thoughts

This is a very touchy subject as you seem to be well aware of.

If it is a wedding party numbers question, today there is no right or wrong way as to how many people can be included in your party. We actually had 3 women on my side and 1 Best Man on my husband’s side for our wedding.

When our bridal party made their entrance, the best man walked in with my husband and all three girls walked down the isle on their own. This was a destination wedding, so it was a little different than a traditional wedding to begin with.

The processional went as follows: Us, my sister's husband escorted my sister (Matron of Honor), and our best man walked my husband's sisters out - one on each of his arms. There truly is no wrong way to organize a wedding party as long as you really think it out and it looks rehearsed.

No with that said, we are true believers in that this is your wedding and you should follow your heart's desire. However, make sure that you and your husband-to-be are on the same page with this decision.

There is a chance that his sisters will not be fully comfortable with your decision. Remember that they are becoming your sisters as well as his, so make sure you fully think through your plan and make the best decision for your wedding as well as your relationship with your soon to be sisters-in-law.

To Your Wedding!
Danielle & Stephen