Destination Wedding Questions

by Jill Mitchell
(Boswell IN)

My daughter lives in Philadelphia, we live in IN, very small farming community. She would like to have a destination wedding.

She has been trying to find the right place, affordable for her guests and try to keep the number of guests invited low. When the newlyweds return to Philly, they would like to have a party (if you mention "reception" the price is jacked up way high!

Consider having the reception on a Friday evening or Sunday if price becomes an issue, or try just having a cocktail wedding reception.

How do we send invitations, knowing that few friends will come to the wedding?

There will be a shower for her in Indiana. Must we send a wedding invitation for all ladies who come to the shower? Or is an invitation to the reception acceptable?

One wedding invitation we received recently, stated the date the bride and groom would be married & where (destination), and there will a reception in their town at a given later date, several weeks after the wedding. Is that proper?

This will not be a fancy wedding, She already has a guest list of over 60, and many of her college friends will come! Are all friends invited to the wedding even though we know they will not make the trip to Philly?

The same with the ladies who attend the shower? Doubt that anyone in our area would attend the wedding and some will not make the trip to PA. I guess my question is, must all friends and those invited to the shower, be sent a wedding invitation? Or would an announcement of the wedding mentioned, with an invitation to the wedding be acceptable?

The best advice is to keep things simple.

Create an “A” list of those people that you think will most likely attend the destination wedding. This is typically a fairly small number and usually somewhat predictable.

Also, it is proper etiquette to invite everyone to the wedding that attended the bridal shower. In your case it doesn’t sound like many bridal shower guests will attend the wedding, but they should still receive an invitation with wedding and post wedding reception information.

In your invitation (and save the date) state that it is a destination wedding with a post wedding reception to follow. Typically there will not be many surprises when it comes to who will attend the destination wedding.

However, try to keep your guest list under control. If it gets too big you run the risk of having more people than you initially anticipated attend the wedding which can cause some issues (and stress!).

The destination wedding will most likely be somewhere outside the US states.

I hope my letter makes some sense! Please respond to my questions along with any suggestions you might have.

FYI, also. Our guest list from the parents of the bride will not be too long, as we already know they might not come anyway. The bride has lived out-state for 9 years Her invitations would most likely be few from our hometown but many college friends.

We want to do this correctly. Our older daughter was married on the dock in a city in FL Several ladies held a fabulous shower for her in our/her hometown and not all of those people were on the guest list. She was the organizer, did nearly all planning herself. I didn't have to make many decisions as MOB. This is a big step in spite of having one wedding already in the family.

I know that I am throwing a lot of info that you most likely don't want to know. We just need some advice. A date has not been set for the wedding, but my daughter doesn't believe in long engagements, so I think she will be married no later than October, 2010.
In that case, they are worried about the invitations, the "save the date" cards, the guest list for the actual ceremony and the reception.

If the wedding date is indeed October of 2010, the save the dates should be sent out the first week of January. The invitations can be sent out about 3 months or so before the wedding date.

Please, offer some advice. Any & all will be greatly appreciated.

Our Thoughts

Well Jill, you have won the award for the longest question we have ever received! Seriously though, thank you for the great questions about your daughter’s destination wedding.

We typically post answers to questions in this area, however we felt it would be easier to just post them right after you have asked them above. You will find the answers in bold and italicized.

Please let us know if you have any additional questions by leaving a comment!

To Your Wedding!
Danielle & Stephen